Last week, I took G on a little picnic. I packed up a whole bunch of cut up fruit and grabbed some string sticks, figuring that’s all she would eat anyways. Even after almost three years, G and I have still not mastered getting out of the house. I invariably try to do too much and we are running around like crazy people. Throw in a mobile G2 and it’s complete mayhem. So that was definitely factored into my minimalist picnic.

We broke into the fruit a little early so we went got to the picnic blanket, the fruit had lost its mysterious allure. I unpacked her food and she looked at me, and ask “Mama, where’s the food?” After telling her repeatedly that I had unpacked it all. She began begging for food from her friends.

I was slightly embarrassed.

I went home and decided to up my picnic game. I typed in picnic food on Pinterest and discovered that people have way too much time on their hands. Way. Too. Much. Time. Brownie shish kebobs. Candy necklaces. Oreos and berries in cute little fishing bait boxes. More freaking shish kebobs. The theme for picnics appeared to be junk food in overly cutesy forms. And is it really a good idea to try to spear food with a sharp stick while your threenager is running between your legs refusing to put on pants? This also provides the aformentioned threenager a sharp stick post picnic. Not a good idea.

We need a picnic revolution. Every summer I pick a theme. There was the summer of ice pops, the summer of infused vodkas (that was a fun one!), and now we have the summer of picnics.

We want to take back picnics. Nothing too cute. Nothing that requires sharp sticks (unless they are for making s’mores). Nothing that makes us even later than we already are.

Whole foods.

Easy foods.

And foods that won’t have your kids begging from other moms.

Stay tuned.

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